Love thy Neighbor as Thyself?

(Mary Poppins and Bert/ Halloween 2008)

I LOVE education week!!! It is so Awesome!!! Its like Annual Conferences Latter Day Saints can enjoy every six months, filled with the words of the prophets inspiredly quoting scriptures we need to hear, and giving quality inspired apostolic counsel to the specific needs we have this day, butEducation week is the Saints APPLYING the gospel on various subjects of living and learning, and SOMETIMES, hearing a normal every day SAINT applying the gospel into their life, is ALL it takes to make a principle finally SINK in!!!

Well, one of my ALLSTARS/ CRUSHES this year, was a teacher by the last name of Goddard. He was all twinkley eyed, precious, loving, funny and insightful! ** His talk on marriage, made it finally sink in about the principle that TWO twain become ONE. I realized that husbands are not "another person's needs to meet", at the end of the day when you are exhausted and tired of meeting others needs, but they are as YOURSELF, twain flesh become ONE, and you DECIDE to treat them as YOURSELF! Surely, if I can squeeze energy to eat a cookie for MYSELF, or BROWSE the net, then can't I also SERVE "myself"; something small, rub his feet for ten minutes, LISTEN when he talks to me as a best friend. (Yes, sometimes I feel, "Stop talking to me, I want to just hear my own thoughts!") Seriously, I love my kids but when ole' Goddard spoke I realized I was treating Riley as my child, another kids needs to meet, so he was getting the short end of the stick sometimes, when I was like, I AM DONE meeting OTHERS NEEDS, I am exhausted. Capoot. Sleep. Or Self time.

So, as it turns out, Riley and I have been faithfully working on having baby 4. It has been nigh unto six months now. And another education week epiphany for me was in realizing that each 21 days, I map out my temperatures and other fertility factors, that I could diligently chart out my goal to treat Riley as myself, and making my love for him deep as the mercy I allow in my own mistakes. Last 21 day period started out strong, then I petered out. With another negative pregnancy test, I have repented of my fizzle, but this morning, I have dissapointment, that I am such a STINKING PERFECTIONIST!!! I canned last night but fell asleep, and Riley helped lovingly with the kids, and put away the food, but after I gave him a little cuddle when a head ache came on, I fell right asleep on the couch. He REMEMBERED to turn the pears off at 20 minutes, which saved us from having a pot of mushy pear bits and shards of glass this morning, but when I woke up and realized that he didn't also take them out, I was SOOOO annoyed!!! My pairs looked 'burny' because they steam-cooked all night! (My daughter's term). So I was so PEEVED that my sailor mouth even came out, and I am so annoyed too cause my goal to love Riley flew out the window too. Well, thus comes apologies, but I realize I am such a perfectionist. Riley pointed out that I gave my all to the things that mattered most yesterday. Good man, encouraging me while I treated him poorly, but I just have the hardest time rolling with the punches, and noticing what the good a man DID do, when I am so DISAPPOINTED!!! One batch of my pears sat in a sink for 3 hours because of a party I went to before I could finish, and this one got cooked all night, so I have only one out of three batches of pears that turned out, and alas! I am so sad. Is there any woman out there to feel my pain? Next year, hands down, I am doing homeschool one extra month in the summer and giving myself September JUST for canning! Take that Self!

:) I hope Riley has noticed the difference of my goal even still, and, I am thankful for many examples of how I see many of my great friends interact with their husbands that keeps me inspired and chomping at the bit to enjoy love, romance, friendship and strengthening one another!